24 Jan

When Captain McFee
slapped his knee
and the men lined up for a beer
you could tell who’d kissed
the Blarney Stone
by how they’d fill your ear

and though the tales
were but half true
and shaggy ones were bred
from withered eyes
flowed many a tear
“did you hear poor Ned was dead?”

or that Kilkenny’s daughter
run off with some pirate lad
and this tragedy had happened
Before the dowry had?

but my favorite yarn remembered
told of the Kelly family wake
of how Tom Kelly wakened
from a drunken nap, he’d take

that night he tied on a big one
and was the last one from the pub
he’d passed out near some garbage cans
like he croaked, struck by a club

So they dragged him to O’Malley’s
the mortician of the town
but O’Malley was a little tanked
and his judgment wasn’t sound

he prepared old Tom for burial
in the quaint old Irish way
by pouring in more whiskey
Tom’s kin would have to pay

The people came from all around
to mourn Tom’s sad demise
but after several hours
Tom Kelly did arise!

“its a miracle!” they all shouted
the priest fell in a faint
and now the church is considering
to make old Tom a saint

so the fellowship of believers
is growing day by day
it’s why the captain slapped his knee
and for another round, did pay


Limericist, 2008

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Posted by on January 24, 2021 in Poetry


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